Wife Swap Cullen's Vrs Roderick's
by Emmettsgirlyeayourjealous
Summary: Emmett Draco Jasper all get Jake to help pull the ultimate prank going on wife swap Harry/Edward Cedric/Draco Esme/Carlisle Alice/Jasper Emmett/Rosalie. Little did they know they would be stuck with Ultra-Homophobe Jennifer Roderick
1. Summary

**Disclaimer-Sadly I don't own twilight or Harry Potter. If I did I would be writing you a new book instead of being on fan fiction… yea right I love you all and would do both!**

**Summary:**

During the Tri Wizard Tournament Cedric and Harry were encountered with vampires in the maze event. Due to their magic they were able to prolong the change until after the event that they won. When they touched the cup the wizarding world only seemed like they were gone 10 or 15 minutes. In all actuality how ever they were unconscious for two and a half days and came across Voldemort whom they killed. When they got back to Hogwarts and they admitted that Voldemort was forever dead and every thing could go back to normal Hermione and Ron admitted that they had used Harry since first year to gain popularity. Dumbledore also admitted to using harry as a tool to kill Voldemort. With him gone and out of the way he is here by banished for becoming a dark creature. Cedric Diggory, Harry Potter and Cedric's Mate Draco Malfoy all left the country and moved to Forks Washington where they met a family of vegetarian Vampires one of which was Harry's mate… Edward Cullen. The others in their coven/ Family included Carlisle as the father in all intensive purposes. Esme the mother in all but one sense of the word. Alice the little sister in high school you love and cant say no to. Rosalie the older sister you love and hate at the same time. Emmett the older and very large protective brother. Jasper the sympathetic empath you can't seem to escape and Isabella Edward's Ex-girlfriend living in the guest house with her mate Jacob Black. All are in the 16-20 range Alice being 16 when changed, Edward Cedric Harry and Draco being 17, Rosalie being 18 when changed, Jasper at 19 and Emmett and Isabella at 20. Jacob appears to be 24 and Carlisle was 27 and Esme 30. They all now go to Forks High Alice and Harry posing as twins are juniors along with Cedric and Edward (also twins). Jasper, Rosalie and Draco posing as siblings all from the same father but with different mothers. All the nieces and nephews of Carlisle with Emmett as seniors. Carlisle is a doctor and Jacob is a mechanic. All the Cullen's enjoy the same things as they did when in twilight. Cedric is a perfect child and book worm and Harry is a Music loving romantic. Much like Edward only playing the bass instead of the piano. Edward plays the electric guitar while Jasper plays the acoustic. Emmett plays the drums and they all think that music is an essential part of living. Edward and the girls all sing often Cedric will join in but he usually just reads ad writes while snuggled up with Draco. All the Cullen's have pet names for their beloved ones on the chart below. Beware the name in front is the one who is being called this

Edward- Eddie, babe, Eddie Bear

Harrison (Harry)- Hairbear.

Cedric- Ceddie, Ceddie Bear.

Draco- Dragon, Dradray, Drakie… (Any rendition like this)

Isabella- Izzy, Bells, Bella.

Jacob- Jakey, Jake.

Rosalie- Rose, Rosie.

Emmett- Emmey, EmmeyBear,

Alice- Ali, Darling.

Jasper-Jazzy, Jazz.

Esme-Sweet Heart.

Carlisle-Honey bunny.

Jennifer Aaron and Allyssa Roderick a family of three in the middle class in a neighborhood in lake Geneva Wisconsin. They are all supremely homophobic and although they aren't Christian they believe in the old ways of life. Mother Jennifer lives the life in the house. She does all the shopping the cleaning and runs her own day care service. Daughter Allyssa is 16 and a half and is in an arranged marriage with a young man named Alexandre Whitney. She is kept sheltered not being able to have a cell phone with any thing other then only talking and that is used for emergencies only. Credit cards or designer clothing are completely off limits even if she has her own money her parents regulate what they spend it on. Parents monitor all computer usage for she isn't allowed to have an email, face book, MySpace, twitter, or anything used for blogging or what they deem nonessential for life. Her father is a carpenter and they own three cars a Red 2003 Toyota Camry (Jennifer), a Silver 2005 Chevy Equinox (Aaron), and a Jet black 2003 Volvo S60 T5 Sedan (Allyssa).

Any suggestions just Review!!! For all I know this is the first HP x Twilight cross over wife swap!!! Lucky me!!! Also if I get any Harry Potter facts wrong don't yell I learned every thing I know from Wikipedia and other Fan fictions so leave some love Thx!!!


	2. Preface

**Disclaimer-Sadly I don't own twilight or Harry Potter. If I did I would be writing you a new book instead of being on fan fiction… yea right I love you all and would do both!**

**Preface:**

**Emmett's Point of View:**

Draco, Jake, Jasper, and I are planning some huge we are all sending in an application to send Esme on wife swap! For as much as I hate the stupid dog he will block out Alice's visions and for as much as I would love to include Cedric or Harry they would run and tell Edward to fast. I picked out the strongest in hiding from their mates as my accomplices. Draco who was a past Slytherin loves to prank and is great with magic. I know how much it hurts him to hide it from Cedric but it must be done and he understands. Cedric is still the Perfect Prefect who loves keeping things in order. I swear he is just a newer version of Edward and lacks the mind reading ability. Hell they even look alike same gold eyes bronze hair and chiseled features the only differences is Edward is like three inches taller and has longer hair.

We were all out 'Hunting' in the woods while Edward and Harry were doing god knows what in the house and the major prefect was conversing about books with Isabella. Alice and Rosalie were shopping and Esme was visiting Carlisle at work. It was time to put our plan in action. Making sure we were far enough away from the house so Edward wouldn't read our minds we all removed our blocking mechanism or more so Draco did while Jacob Jasper and I all just stopped singing the national anthem in different countries and languages… Jacob well he just pictured girls naked and that keeps him out. Hmm good plan show a gay guy a hot chicks naked body and he will leave you alone for life… next time I'm so doing that. I reached for my phone and called back the producers of wife swap to confirm we got their notice and we appreciate that we get to be on the show. I put on my best Carlisle impression voice and pressed the green talk button.

"Hello I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen and I just wanted to call and say that my family received your call and we are delighted that you chose our family to star on your show." I said officially and Carlisle like.

"Thank you Dr. Cullen. A camera crew will be at your house one week from now to film the before part. Then a week later the limo will pick up your wife and drop off the new mom. She will stay for two weeks then six weeks later we will return and film the results." The man explained and I nodded as if he could see me.

"Very well we are looking forward to seeing you. Have a good afternoon sir. Good bye." I said waiting for his response and to start the torment in my family. We would wait until they were coming then tell the family with 10 minutes to spare. This is going to be awesome.

"Good bye sir." The TV producer person said then I flipped the phone shut.

"Oh my god this is great. Now we only have to wait seven short days before we pull the greatest prank of all time." Jasper said and Draco laughed.

"No painting Edward's car pink was great then putting rainbows and butterflies all over was the best. He wouldn't touch his Volvo for three months." Jacob said.

"What's so funny about rainbows and butterflies? Ceddie loves them. Are you saying something's wrong with my Man?" Draco said and his eyes turned black in fury.

"N-no of course not. Its just his reaction was funny." Jake stammered.

"He made you drive his car for those three months and wear a gay pride t- shirt what's so funny about that Jacob?" Jasper asked with humor in his voice. He clearly stated I will never forget this and well he forgot.

"Oh yea right I forgot about that…" Jacob said.

I just laughed and we pulled out the portable DVD player Jake brought with and I pulled out a DVD case. Pulling out the disk and putting it in the player while we all crowded around to watch the second copy of our movie.

"Hello I'm Carlisle Cullen and this is my home. My wife and I have adopted eight kids and love them all immensely. All of them are in high school in the grades of 11th or 12th. Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie and Draco are all seniors and Harry, Alice, Cedric and Edward are all juniors. We adopted two sets of twins both are now 17 years of age. Harry and Alice took our last name as their real parents were my wife's god children. Cedric and Edwards last name is Mason. Rosalie and Jasper are all Niece and Nephew of mine when my brothers and sisters died in an airplane crash coming home from their homes back in England. Emmett also took my last name and was one of my patients and was abandoned by his parents lost in the woods and almost died now he is one of my brightest children and even though. I think its time for a tour of my house. This is my study…" I stop and show his office area. "Down this hall is my bedroom and bathroom. We are on the ground floor to give us more privacy from the children. Many may find this strange but threw the only ones related by blood are either cousins or twins and each have found their soul mates in my home. Emmett and Rosalie were best friends the moment they met. Alice and Jasper followed soon after. Eventually they all grew into something more Alice and Jasper having more romantic thoughts as did Rosalie and Emmett. This started around seventh grade and have been irrespirable ever since. Now I'm sure your wondering since I said all my children found their soul mates and I have only two girls and six boys. Well Edward, Cedric, Draco and Harry are all gay. While the other four were double dating or just hanging out as best friends the four of them all bonded tremendously. Draco was the first to come out of his over dramatic closet followed by Edward. Eventually his twin followed and then Harry. While they all waited a few months before trying any thing the four boys turned into two groups of two. Harry and Edward bonding a lot more and Draco with Cedric. All the couples share bedrooms since we know what would happen any ways. Having them share bedrooms is a lot safer then them scaling the building. All the hall ways have security cameras along with the kitchen, living room and family room. Our personal movie theater, gym and our pool are all camera free so they don't feel self conscious while working out or relaxing with their beloved one or a friend. Alice and Rosalie have free reign on all credit cards each having around sixty. I pay these and each of the boys have a small collection as well. When they go shopping usually Draco, Cedric, Harry and Edward will join as well." Give rest of tour stop in each room pass Cedric and Draco in compromising position. Find Edward being straddled by Harry both topless and Edward pant less. "See what I mean. Lets go see Rosalie, Alice, Emmett and Jasper." Go to Rose and my room. "Hey kids where's Emmett?" I asked. Rosalie looks at me like I'm stupid and Alice giggles Jasper answers went out to town with Esme. "Well I wanted to show you my favorite but oh well. Now we have our guest house rented out to a newly wed couple Isabella and Jacob Black. Isabella is twenty two and Jacob is twenty three. Alice and Bella are great friends and they often come over to the main house for game nights or movie nights." I said going up towards the gym. "I'm going to go work out now so see you when you pick my family for your show!!!"

"Emmett why did you film Cedric and I? I told you to say we were hiking!!!" Draco yelled.

"That was Classic!" Jasper said. "My favorite part was you catching Edward and Harry at it like rabbits."

"Why couldn't I be filmed?" Jacob whined obnoxiously.

"Did you want us to film a Pomeranian and say this is Jake?" Draco asked.

"I'm not a Pomeranian! Why would you say that?" Jake whined.

"What ever lets go do something prank like so we get our minds off this for a while." Draco said.

"Yea that sounds great. Who should we prank? Carlisle, Esme, Harry, Edward, Alice, or Isabella?" I asked leaving out Rosie's name for a reason.

"Not Cedric." "Not Bella." "Not Ali." They all growled at the same time.

"Fine Edward or Harry?" I asked.

"Both!" Jasper said in an Alice like manner.

"Hmm?" I said thinking with my hand on my chin.

"Take pictures of their alone time and post them all over school." Draco suggested.

"Brilliant! Draco I knew there was a reason why we kept you." Jasper said.

"Now how do we get the pictures?" Jacob asked stupidly.

"Super zoom?" Jasper asked.

"Bug their room? And shower?" Draco suggested another brilliant thing.

"Draco we choose you to bug their room. One on the ceiling light. One on the window. The TV. The corners of the shower. The stereo and their bath tub." I said.

"When does this operation start?" Jacob asked.

"Now I will go buy the equipment." Jasper said.

"I'll get the boys out hunting." I said.

"Can we bug the cars?" Jacob asked.

"Yes go ahead. Oh and hide the cameras with magic Draco. Your head of this operation." Jasper said.

"Can Ceddie Know?" Draco asked.

"If he promises not to tell." I said.

"Of course. I could always hold no sex over his head." Draco said proudly.

"TMI" we all shouted at once.

"Sorry."Draco said and we all went and did our jobs.

**Jennifer's Point of View:**

I was walking out to my red Toyota Camry to go and get the mail from my P.O. Box in Walworth. I stopped at the local Star Bucks and got my favorite Carmel Brulée latte. I was almost there when a large SUV Driver was talking on the phone blew a stop sign and almost crashed into me head on. I'm so glad I'm not a phone person. I pulled into the parking lot and walked in side the cool office area. I made it to my box 274 and opened it. I had a yellow slip of paper amongst the large amount of cards for Allyssa. It was her birthday two weeks ago and we recently signed up for wife swap. When would we get the letter?

I went into the other part of the post office and handed them my slip. In return I got a large manila envelope from wife swap. I quickly called my daughter and husband actually using my Samsung M300 for a change since this was an emergency and called them to tell them to get home quick. I thanked the little old lady working and made my way back to my car. Although I planned to pick up my stuff from the dry cleaners I was way to excited to stop any where. I would just have to go back out later. In fifteen minutes I was at home sitting on my tan suede couch waiting for Allyssa and Aaron to walk threw the doors.

"Jennifer what's the emergency?" Aaron asked immediately. Looking down on the large unopened envelope.

"Mom what's wrong? I was getting coffee with Alexandre."

"It came. The wife swap papers came. Now if every ones ready I'm going to open them and read them out loud…" they nodded and I opened the envelope and took out a series of papers. "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Roderick you were chosen to star on the show wife swap. We are greatly fond of your way of life and we think it would make for an interesting show. Be ready in a week to be visited by a crew to take the before shots. Then one week later be packed and ready for the swap. Pack for rainy weather and that's all we can tell you. All other information is disclosed. You will need to write out your rule book and get ready for the new mom. Who knows if you will be the fun house with the hard second week or the 'bad' house with the fun second week? We will all find out soon on this episode of wife swap!"

This week we cleaned the house and prepared the guest room. However with a house doubled as a daycare it's hard to manage. That next week came sooner then expected and now we were shooting our pre swap information. I showed them our house then we lived like normal only with a camera in the house. Alexandre came over and took Allyssa out near the end and we explained he was her suitor. In the end it was a great day. Our ending picture thing was taken in front of our decently manicured lawn.

**Esme's Point of View:**

To say this week was weird would be an understatement. Edward and Harry's pictures were posted all over the high school making girls swoon and guys get sent home. Edward's car got keyed and then to top it all off Emmett called us all to the living room standing with Jasper on one side and Draco on the other. On Jasper's side was Jacob and they all had their arms around each others shoulders.

"So I'm sure your wondering why we are all up here? Jasper, Jacob, Draco and I all pulled the ultimate prank!" Emmett said proudly.

"You posted the photos of Edward and my self!" Harry gasped.

"Yes but our ultimate prank was better." Draco said and Harry gulped.

"A few weeks ago we all made a video and submitted it to the show wife swap. I pretended to be Carlisle and I even caught some Edward Harry action along with Cedric and Draco. It was great. Now you can't kill me because the crew will be here in ten minutes to film the before swap footage. So I suggest you all be nice and smile at the camera." Emmett said sweetly.

"If you don't I will force you to be happy about this." Jasper threatened.

"Esme in one week you will be moved across the country and it said to be prepared for any thing. What ever that means." Draco said. "Muggles are so stupid some times."

"You will need to prepare a rule book and schedule for the new mom." Jacob said.

"Alice can you see any thing?" I asked.

"Yes your in constant cover of clouds but its torture here for us." Alice said.

"Keep them in line please?" I asked sweetly then we heard several cars turn onto our drive way and we moved into position. Edward and Harry cuddling on the love seat. Cedric and Draco across from them on the other one. Emmett and Rosalie laying one the couch with Alice and Jasper on a chair. Carlisle and I moved to greet the men at the door.

"Hello I'm Carlisle Cullen you must be the crew coming to film us." Carlisle said professionally.

"I'm Esme and these are my wonderful children Edward, Harry, Cedric, Draco, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. Edward and Cedric look identical but Edward has slightly longer hair and is a few inches taller. He also is almost always with Harry so you get the picture moving on." I said. 'Damn can I be any babblier?' I thought and Edward laughed and whispered "Mom that's not a real word. Just show them the house like you would any human. Just act normal with out all the vampire stuff in the way." He said softly. 'Thanks.' I thought back and he smiled. "Would you like a tour before we begin?"

"We already have. But a tour would be great." A camera man said then followed me up the stairs while some stayed to watch what the kids do all day.

I showed them the house and they just followed us around all day. By the end of it all they took their final shots with us in front of our perfectly manicured house no weeds or yellowing grass in sight. All before our perfect Victorian styled house.

"Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Cullen and I hope you have a great week. We will see you next Monday morning." The camera man said then they loaded back into the vans.


	3. In The Cullen Home

**Day of Swap:**

**Jennifer's Point of View:**

I was finishing up all the last minute touch ups on packing my stuff going over the final copy of my rule book I decided that it was absolutely perfect in every definition of the word. "Jen the limo is about to come to pick you up." Aaron my darling husband said so I grabbed my Suitcase and placed the book on my kitchen table. Walking out to the limo I said good bye to Allyssa and Aaron placing a light kiss on the top of Allyssa's head and a Chaste kiss on Aaron's lips. Saying my final good bye I slid into the limo and shut the door waiting to arrive at the new house.

**~Six Hours Later~**

When we finally pulled into a drive way off the side of a highway I expected the house would be like right there. Obviously not I have been on this road for like ten minutes already. It just keeps going and going and going. Will it ever end? All I can tell is that these people are probably real big fans of privacy who else would buy or rent a house in the middle of the woods. In fact who would buy a lot in the middle of the woods? There is no way these people own all this land. Even the richest in Lake Geneva couldn't afford all this. We passed a house the size of my own and I almost thought it was where I would be staying. Nope he just kept on driving so I settled back into my seat with a *humph*. Another ten or so minutes later we came up to a large circular drive way you would only see in Beverly Hills. Right in front of the drive way was a stone side walks leading up to a gorgeous White Victorian mansion. Who would build a mansion in this weather when you could live on a beach… or in a big city. Maybe that's where I am right now. The driver caught my hesitation and told me it was time to get out now. I turned to the camera now recording at my side. "Lets get this over with." I said and got out the camera man following me.

"This is gorgeous but who would build a house in this cloud covered town?" I stated so I didn't just gawk at every thing in sight. God that would be embarrassing right?

"You have a half an hour to explore and read the manual." He said in a hushed tone and moved to film in front of me to get my facial expressions.

I took a step towards the door and he took a step back and it went like this until I got to the door where he filmed me unlocking and opening the door. Taking my first steps in I was hit with the inner beauty of this home. Old Machiavelli paintings were on the walls. Pieces of art made by Da Vinci and Michelangelo were in the room as well. On the far wall was what can only have been custom made plasma high definition TV around like 84 inches. The room was an off white color with suede couches in a sand color. Their was a large four person couch facing the television and a matching love seat on either side facing each other. Their was a glass coffee table with coasters and a family picture on top of it. They were gorgeous. I take it the best friends were also in the picture because there were ten people in this. Six tall men with different colors ranging from a light honey blonde to a Raven black. Two men around seventeen had the same strange bronze hair and one was slightly taller and had a little longer hair but not much. Defiantly twins. Their was four blondes in this picture one strikingly beautiful girl and three very handsome men. One with short perfectly placed pale blond hair that looks to be the oldest. One with long and curly deep honey colored hair smiling down at the short black haired girl with spiky hair that hit her shoulders. The last blonde male had pale almost white hair that was styled to be messy but looked good. The girl however had her hair in long loose ringlets that stopped mid back. They all had honey gold eyes and were pale. The woman at the eldest's side was a tall motherly looking figure with Caramel brown hair that was strait and perfect. She was wearing what looks to be a designer sweater dress in a pretty eggplant picture. Her eyes were the same gold color and her skin was the same pale complexion. Then there was the other five a tall body builder like man with curly dark brown hair golden eyes and the same deathly pale complexion. The twins with the bronze hair were both that same pale color and had the same golden eyes. Last but certainly not least their was a shorter young male with disheveled black hair falling about two inches above his shoulders hidden behind the taller bronze haired one. Almost like he didn't want to be there like he would rather be hidden and the bronze haired man was the only thing that could keep him safe. He shared the same features as the black haired girl small delicate features however he looks like his prime years for growing he was neglected threw. He didn't have any scared looks just like he would rather be in his room doing something else. Not bored per say but like he was scared something would make life with these people disappear. Huh I will defiantly need to get to know this one.

Realizing I just stared at this for five minutes I quickly checked out the kitchen and dinning room before dashing up the stares. When I got up I was greeted with three doors and another flight of stairs. Quickly peeking into each room I encountered a bright red and silver room with a sterling silver vanity that was incrusted with ruby's diamonds and sapphires. "Pretty defiantly a young teenaged girl's room." I said and looked across the hall to find a black and green room with an entire wall of books across one of the two walls that weren't completely windows. I ventured inside for a moment taking in the closet space and saw two doors inside it. One leading to a large private double sink bathroom and the other was locked so I left it alone. "They defiantly have at least one son in this family I can deal with that."

The final door leads to a movie theater. Ten large plush reclining chairs grouped in sets of two were set up on two levels. The room was painted an emerald green and had gold chairs their was a large concession stand with a huge popcorn machine and a list of foreign soda's on the soda machine. Their was every type of candy I have ever seen and even some new ones. On one wall was completely incased in DVD's every movie that has ever came out VHS included. "Wow these people must really entertain often. I bet they haven't even seen half these movies yet." Every version new and old since the 1900's. Exiting this room and making my way up the stairs I passed by a wall of graduation caps and more family pictures. One from a wedding of the older blonde haired man and the motherly caramel haired woman. The next was a prom picture of the black haired girl and the blonde haired man that was smiling down on her. A picture of the big bear like one and the blond girl. Then two pictures of the taller bronze haired man and then raven haired one. One with them was playing the guitar one with the bass and the other with an electric. The other was with a red and gold cake the raven haired one sitting on the piano bench while the bronze haired on played. With each picture they looked like each pair was smiling in an undying love for the other. The last picture was of the shorter twin and the blonde boy laying pool side with books and a glass with a wine colored liquid. "These kids don't drink do they?" When I reached the top I was hit with two doors and a large glass wall leading to a state of the art gym. The first room I peeked into was red and gold just like the cake with a double bed, wall of CD's a couple of different color bass guitars and a few electric ones as well. Their was a state of the art player and a high tech lap top with it set to iTunes. "This house is gorgeous defiantly a bit excessive but at least they don't have like a recording studio in this room." Exiting the room with their only being a few pictures and the closet left I made my way across the hall. Their was a blue and pink room with a confederate army flag with old civil war stories and on the other side was a design area with a strapless yellow and black dress. It had a crest on the bow with a H and a badger. There was one bed with blue and black. "So one of the girlfriends or boyfriends live in their house. A tad scary but as long as they know not to have sex before marriage I guess…" Leaving this room since it was defiantly a girl and boys room I went to check out the gym. Their was 10 of every thing ten treadmills ten stair steppers and ten abdominal machines all expensive equipment and even some machines that look so new I haven't even seen them before. Each machine had a tag on it too. On a pink tag a loopy girly and elegant script was the name _Rosalie_. Next to it was a bold **Emmett** on a deep green Tag. On the other side was a purple small and narrow _Alice. _Next to that was _**Jasper**_ in a bold and elegant hand on a blue card then a _Draco_ on a green with a silver elegant hand, then _Cedric_ in a loopy yet masculine script on a yellow card. Followed by _Edward_ in a tall elegant narrow and just utterly perfect script in a gold pen and on a red sheet of paper. Then there was a _Harrison_ I believe in a scratchy handwriting then re written in Edward's perfect script with a small lion under it on a red card and written in gold. Next to Harrison's was _Esme_ on a eggplant colored card in a perfect loopy script. Then on the last card was an elegant _Carlisle _on a deep blue card. "Is all this really required? I mean at least four are only friends of the family! What is all of this for?" I went into a room that was made into a locker room it had ten shower stalls and a locker with each persons name on it. Then I came face to face with an elevator. "Do they really need an elevator its only a three story house. Unless I missed the final floor and the basement. I hit the button and saw it had five buttons but the fourth said do not push and the basement had a tag that said storage room under it." I pushed the first floor button and was placed in another locker room. This one with a sauna and all glass walls and I was faced with a large pool and a hot tub big enough to fit a couple hundred. It had waterslides and basket hoops a removable volley ball net and an area for competitive swimming. There was a bar and a snack area full stocked with energy drinks bottles of water and liquor. A few martini glasses and shakers were out but I couldn't see any vodka rum or gin any were. Then I saw a glass case that was locked that housed all the alcoholic beverages. It was only the mixers that were out. "Well at least they have sense enough to lock up all liquor." I said then turned to face gold silver bronze and yellow chairs bordering the pool. Despite the vast amount of space that could fit a few hundred there were only like twenty chairs. Exiting this room I set out to find the kitchen the main bathroom the guest room and the parents room. The first room I stumbled upon was what was labeled Carlisle's study/ office. Next door to it was a large and spacious bed room in gold and white. Their was a large bathroom connected to it along with a giant closet twice the size of all the others. "Cute room but I need to find my guest room and read the manual hopefully she didn't make it to long." I said to the camera wandered around until I found a snow white room with pillows against the wall cherry wood dressers and a good sized closet. I found my bags already placed inside and took off my jacket placing it on the bed. "Great now I just need to figure out the rest of this house with out backtracking every thing." I said then passed a door and looked in side and saw the most high tech garage ever. It was set up more professionally then most machanics work garages. It had about 17 or so cars inside and had spaces that were labeled Mercedes Benz S1600 roadster, Volvo S60R and Land Rover Range Rover supercharged. All those spaces were blank. Their was also a Red Ferrari 458 Italia, a green Lamborghini Gallardo, A black Austin Martin Vanquish, a Red BMW M6 that was on the lift, a yellow Porsche 911 turbo. A red jeep wrangler unlimited Rubicon. A silver Ducati multistrada 1200s. A red Land Rover L24, a blue Toyota Prius fifth generation, a red Mitsubishi lancer evolution, a white Volvo C70 T5, a silver Hummer H2, a silver Mercedes Benz SLR McLaren roadster, a Black Ford F450, a black Ferrari scuderia spider, a black Ducati Hypermotard 1100 avc SP, and a blue Chevy corvette zr1. "They obviously love cars for so little amount of people. I can see if they had one car per person but this is like four each and its way to excessive." I said then made my way back to the state of the art kitchen with all the high tech appliances you would see in a five star restaurant. Realizing that the manual wasn't in this room I made my way across the hall and into the dinning room and sat at the head of table where it was placed.

"Dear new mom,

My name is Esme Cullen and this is my home in Forks Washington. My husband Carlisle is a very successful Doctor and is currently holds the title of head of cardiology even though we have only been here two short years. **Only two years this family must have settled fast. Especially with how fast they must have gotten all the cars here. **We chose forks over any big city because it would be a more family area to raise our children and because of the abundance of wild life. We recently moved here from Alaska. We think true love is all that matters and we would never judge on some ones sexuality or choice in a lover, via gender, ethnicity, or social status. To us all that doesn't matter we also would never force them into an arranged marriage. We have adopted eight children. My nephews Cedric and Edward first when they were five. They are identical twins the only differences noticeable are their height about three inches apart and Edward's hair is slightly longer. Cedric loves to read and Edward composes music on his piano and electric guitar. On our fourth floor we have a library and a Recording studio where Edward and Harrison record their music. The next children we adopted were a friend of mine's. Her twins were the only survivors in a car crash. Alice and Harrison are the shorter two both with jet black hair and were five and a half when we adopted them. They are the same age as the other twins and get along tremendously. Harrison and Alice are the shoppers in the family and Harrison is also into music. Alice designs clothing yet refuses to wear any thing that isn't a high end designer. Next we adopted three seven year olds. Rosalie Draco and Jasper. Draco loves to read and hangs out with Cedric mainly. Rosalie is the beauty queen and works on cars. The garage was organized by her and it was her car on the lift. Don't worry about it she was just going to change the tires. She keeps a clip board for all the oil changes, renditions and tire changes that she does. More times then not she's a better mechanic then the professionals. Jasper is our history buff and he likes to play video games with our final child Emmett. Emmett was a patient of Carlisle's who was in an abusive house hold and was on the brink of death if we didn't find him in the woods. We were all out hiking and Rosalie was a bit ahead of us when all of a sudden we heard her scream. A seven and a half year old Emmett was bleeding to death from knives cuts and severe bruising from consistent abuse. **Oh my god. **We legally adopted him at age eight ten years ago. After the accident Rosalie took him under her shoulder. They became best friends other then his relationship with Jasper and hers with her shopping partner Alice. They went to junior prom together and started dating in eighth grade. **Alright I realize they aren't related but that is still wrong. **Alice and Jasper started dating that year as well and as for the other four you will find out soon enough who their with. How ever I will tell you they are all in love. **That's so sad. However the comment about not forcing your children into an arranged marriage is bull shit. Half of them are probably fairies if they don't care about sexuality. **I do all the cooking in the house and I hired a maid as soon as we got settled in. We have a crew that tends to the water park area twice a week and if the children have a party we hire a life guard. **High spenders much? My child would die in the technology in this house.** I am an architect and own my own company in Seattle. I work from home and own several others. I own a significant amount of property in Alaska, Washington, North Dakota, Colorado, and South America. For one of my husband and my anniversaries Carlisle purchased a small island and named it Isle Esme. **They are defiantly going to go bankrupt.** If I'm not designing a house I'm working out up stairs or helping out at one of the local shelters. **That's sweet. **If you haven't noticed we pride our selves with our vast collection of cars and you will have access to my Ferrari and Land Rover. My children all have their own credit cards and free reign over the house. They each own two cars and have no curfew. We shower them in love and gifts. Nothing is ever enough in this family where money is no problem. **That is not responsible.** Feel free to use any equipment with a burgundy card in the gym and welcome to my home have a great two weeks.

~Esme Cullen~"

I sat their appalled by this woman's way of life. She acts like they are even more rich then any one else in this country. Just because this woman's husband is a doctor doesn't mean shit. They must come from rich families and have inherited a lot from these children's parents.

"This woman is absolutely nuts. Her kids date inside the family. All they own is expensive things with no sentimental value. Her daughters share rooms with their boyfriends and their missing two rooms. Unless their on the fourth floor which is highly possible. I get they all lost their parents and I feel bad for them. Especially Emmett. However these children need discipline. They probably don't understand where money comes from and only think it appears out of a machine or on a magical card. One of their cars probably cost more then all three of my family's. They need a sense of preservation and need to get their heads out of their asses. This family is also probably in a ton of debt." I said then I heard three cars come speeding far too fast then screech to a stop. "Lets get this over with." I said but not loud enough to keep me from hearing the bickering going on out side.

"Edward the Range Rover kicked your Volvo driving ass you didn't win." A male voice said.

"Cedric you lost get over it. Besides it serves you right for driving that hunk of shit to school. It's not aero dynamic or a sports car." A second male voice said.

"My car is Super Charged and yours is out dated suck it up." Cedric said.

"Prius and Vanquish tomorrow. Your ass is grass Cedric." Edward said. I wonder whose is whose.

"Alice give me the flowers." A third male voice said.

"No Harrison Carlisle told me I could give them to her." Who I presume is Alice said.

"Carlisle tell Alice to give them to me." Harrison whined.

"Harrison your sister asked first." A man said and it sounded strained.

"Awe Carlisle Please." He tried again.

"Harrison get over it you lost just like Cedric." Alice said.

"Alice what are you saying?" A female voice said.

"Rosalie you Draco and Emmett lost. The Range Rover isn't as aero dynamic as the Volvo it's the truth. Plus Edward drives faster and runs faster then Cedric." Alice said.

"Well I can add Nitro and stuff what would you do then." Rosalie said.

"Take the Italia." Edward said.

"Ugh just because you have Harrison rapped around your finger doesn't mean you can drive his car when ever you want." Rosalie said.

"CALM DOWN YOU'RE ALL GIVING ME A FUCKING HEAD ACHE." A new man said.

"Jazzy you don't get head aches though… Oh." Alice said.

"Lets go children she must be waiting for now." Carlisle said.

"If she didn't get lost on the fourth floor." A new booming laughter came from a man.

"She shouldn't have gone up there I put a note on the button in the elevator." Alice said.

"Alright let's go." Carlisle said.

"No." Harrison said.

"Harrison come on." Carlisle tried again.

"Not till Alice gives me the flowers." Harrison said stubbornly.

"Edward pick him up please." Carlisle said.

"Eddie you wouldn't do that to me would you?" Harrison said sweetly.

"Oh don't go there Harrison I know he would." Alice said… how would she know?

"Shut up Alice no one asked you." Harrison snapped.

"Hairbear come on. If you still want to give her flowers at the end of next week you can." Edward said softly.

"I'm hurt Eddie when did you start favoring my twin over me?" Harrison said.

"Never Hairbear but the sooner we get this done with the sooner we can leave again. Or go and play upstairs." Edward tried.

"I'm still mad at you. You trader." Harrison said.

I heard the door open and then the same god like people came walking in. First a short pixie like girl caring the flowers Harrison and her were fighting over.

Then their was a tall blond adult male who must be Carlisle. Followed by Jasper, Draco, Emmett and Rosalie. One of the Bronze males walked in with a blonde and behind them all you could see a taller bronze haired male whispering to the Raven Haired one. His arms were rapped around the others small and delicate waist while the shorter one played with the taller ones hair almost absently.

"Hello I'm Carlisle Cullen; I hope you didn't hear anything that happened out side." a gorgeous tall blonde man said.

"No problem I'm Jennifer Roderick." I said not stating at all that I didn't hear anything.

"These are for you and I'm Alice Cullen." A short raven haired girl said. She was wearing a loose long sleeved dress that was an acceptable length and ballet flats. All and all great outfit.

"I'm Jasper Hale." The curly haired blonde man said. He was wearing light wash jeans and a Ralph Lauren polo shirt in a light blue.

"Draco Hale." The strait haired blonde said. His hair was cut in an almost skater like fashion and he was wearing dark skinny jeans and a white form fitting tee shirt.

"Rosalie Hale." A beautiful model worthy blonde stated next she was wearing a white miniskirt and a pink polo also from Ralph Lauren. Her shoes were the opposite of Alice's being a pair of ultra high stiletto heels.

"Emmett Cullen." A giant foot ball playing sized jock said next he had the face of innocence however and with his wide open smile and non intimidating posture. He was wearing a pair of light blue jeans not to tight but no where near baggy. Not hanging off his but and boxers not showing. He was wearing a white sweater the same pure color as Rosalie's skirt.

"Cedric Mason. Edward and Harry should be in soon Harry had a fit and Edward is the only one who can handle things when he gets that upset." A tall medium length bronze haired man stepped forward next. He was wearing a similar outfit to Draco's but only white skinny jeans and a dark tee shirt. His hair was tended nicely and not a hair out of place.

"No problem. So what do you all like to do?" I asked sweetly.

"I like to Shop." Alice said jumping up and down with enthusiasm.

"Same here. I also keep all these cars contained." Rosalie said now being hugged from behind by Emmett. Her expression looked bored while his looked excited.

"I like to play video games and read old war stories." Jasper said now holding Alice.

"I like to kick jaspers ass at the video games he plays and I help Rosalie in the garage." Emmett said then turned Rosalie to kiss briefly.

"I like to read." Cedric said softly.

"Same." Draco said now standing next to Cedric.

"Sorry we are late I'm Edward Mason your Jennifer Correct?" a tall Adonis like man came walking in. His hair longer then Cedric's and way messier. He was taller and more muscular. He was wearing a gold button down with a pair of black pants and a burgundy and gold striped tie hung loosely around his neck. He had a smile on his face unlike the man next to him.

"Yes." I said politely however I don't know if these boys should be trusted.

"I'm Harrison. No you can not call me Harry or any other short rendition of that. Cedric you are dead." Harrison said. He was wearing a burgundy button down and black pants with a tie similar to Edwards.

"Why Edward Calls you Harry and Hairbear and any other cutesy name out there. What makes him so special?" Cedric asked and Harrison's face visibly darkened before a smirk played across his delicate features.

"Fine if you can call me Harry I can call Draco Drakey." Harrison said in a mocking tone.

"What no! Ceddie do something." Draco Screamed.

"Fine I won't call you Harry Harrison." Cedric said.

"Good. Now, Eddie I want to go shopping." Harry said in a whiney voice. At that word Alice and Rosalie's faces lit up.

"Um, that can wait. I wanted to get to know you all." I said and they looked at me sourly.

"Nah I don't think you really want to get to know us. Your entire stance just screams homophobic." Edward said then pulled Harry into a deep and passionate kiss that made me want to puke.

"Carlisle you condone this behavior?" I asked appalled at their behavior.

"Did you not read the rule book?" He said simply.

"Come on Hairbear lets go." Edward said then pulled him out the door. That's when I noticed the Silver Volvo the black Mercedes and the black Range Rover. However instead of getting in one of those cars Edward started the Volvo opened the garage parked his car and got out. Harry got into the Red Ferrari Italia and pulled out.

"Does your mother allow you to drive her car often?" I asked wondering why he was taking Esme's car.

"No and for your information this isn't Mom's car." He said rudely Carlisle had already walked away and didn't hear.

"Oh?" I said in a contradicting tone.

"No the Spider is." Edward said.

"Oh ok so the black one right." I asked and they both nodded their heads at me and said yes really slowly.

"That is the one labeled Spider correct? God your stupid I guess I will have to re label so a person with any basic sense can read them. The black small car with no top and two seats is the spider. Do you need me to count for you too?" Rosalie said standing next to the Silver Mercedes McLaren Roadster. She was carrying an oversized Louis Vuitton Tote bag and had Emmett in tow.

"You're leaving too?" I asked shocked at this news.

"Very good Jennifer would you like a treat now you got something correct!" She said sarcastically.

"You should really watch who you're talking to. I will not be disrespected like this from a child." I said sternly. She was way to cocky for my liking and this was only the first day.

"Well you disrespected four of seven males in this house. Get over it bitch." She said then got in the car and pulled out. Alice hopped into the bright yellow Porsche and Jasper took shot gun. All three cars took off speeding down the drive way and I made my way back into the house only to find Cedric and Draco cuddled on a love seat each with a copy of pride and prejudice in hand.

I sighed and spoke up. "So what are your plans for the afternoon boys?" I said simply and sweetly.

"Lie around and read. You can do what ever just don't make to much noise." Draco said not moving his head up for my answer.

"Well what does your mother usually do?" I asked.

"Works." Cedric said.

"Well that's not very exciting. I'm going to go unpack then make dinner when its about time." I said the went up stairs and took a mini nap.

**Esme's Point Of View:**

Having to part with Carlisle at the end of the day was the hardest thing I have ever done. However it was 7 and the limo would be here soon. I reluctantly collected the suit cases Rosalie and Alice packed for me. I almost glared at Draco, Jasper and Emmett for getting me into this. Cedric, Harrison, and Edward were mad enough and I felt horrible to have to leave my babies with this bound to be horrible woman. I just know she will be dreadful.

"Good bye Carlisle I love you so much. Boys when I get back you're grounded. Meaning no video games, fighting, gambling, messing with your siblings, watching movies, leaving the house other then hunting or school "


	4. Day one continued

**Day one continued.**

**Jennifer's Point Of View:**

"Well that's not very exciting. I'm going to go unpack then make dinner when its about time." I said then went up stairs and took a mini nap.

The next thing I know was I was being shaken by Draco and Cedric reminding me this wasn't a dream. Damn it.

"Jennifer wake up… Alice wants to talk to you." Cedric said sweetly.

"Ten more minutes." I said sleepily.

"Alice she said to tell you ten more minutes." Draco said into a phone receiver.

"Alice said now Jennifer." Draco said forcefully then the next thing I know there was a big bucket of water being poured on me.

"God Damn it I'm up I'm up" I said yelling.

"Here Alice wanted to talk to you." Draco said handing over the phone.

"What Alice?" I said rudely into the phone.

"Well hello to you too cranky pants. I was just calling to know if you wanted me and Rose to pick up dinner for you?" Alice said sweetly and I instantly felt bad for snapping.

"What time is it last I checked it was a little after two?" I said.

"It is after eight already. Cedric and Draco went out for dinner, We ate on our shopping trip and Carlisle picked something up at work what are you in the mood for?" Alice said in her same bubbly tone.

"I'll just call for a pizza are there any good places around here?" I asked.

"Jennifer we can stop on the way we are still out in Port Angeles what do you want on your pizza?" Alice asked.

"Canadian Bacon and pineapple with extra thick crust and sauce." I said my mouth now watering.

"Alright we will be home soon." Alice said even though from experience Port Angeles is a good hour and a half away.

"See you later thank you and good bye Alice." I said yawning again.

"Bye Jennifer." Alice said and I handed the phone back to Draco.

"Alice has some surprises and your pizza will be here in an hour do you want to go back to sleep or stay up?" Cedric said.

"I'll stay awake. Is it not that Port Angeles is hours away?" I said mentally yelling at my self for the old fashioned word placement?

"Depends on traffic and the driver. They were already at a pizza parlor each couple at a different kind of restaurant so they could order right away." Cedric said.

"Where did you go for dinner?"

"Oh just a place around here. Not the best food but they have good coffee."

"Ah huh so what time do you have to be up in the morning?"

"Around five? Didn't you read the manual?"

"Unless I read it wrong it just said when they adopted you and how old you were?"

"Oh well we live on schedule Five in the morning we wake up. Seven we leave for school. Three we come home then the girls Edward, Harrison, Emmett and Jasper go shopping till late and we either go with or stay home and read. Today we obviously choose reading over blowing money away. Tomorrow it will be shopping and the next day reading. Every other day we shop. Weekends are spent as couple times. Some more out there then others. Lets say you walked into the movie theater would you expect to find Edward being straddled and topless by Harrison? Probably not but it will more then likely happen in the time you are here. Jasper and Alice are the water bugs and if aren't shopping they are in the pool. Don't be surprised to see them making out under water during the next two weeks. Emmett and Rosalie have had sex in a car more times then they have needed to fix one. Dray and I are the only couple to keep private matters private. Oh and Saturday's are band practice. Also known as loud as hell music day so get the fuck out of the house if you value your sanity. Esme stays home Saturday since she is their number one supporter and the girls swoon over the fact that their boyfriends are in a band. Jacob and Isabella come over Sunday nights for dinner and game nights and Jasper, Jacob, Emmett and Dray plans some ridiculous prank. Esme plays mother hen and makes sure no one gets arrested." Cedric said glancing over at Draco with disappointing looks at when he mentioned Draco prank scheming.

"Who do they prank if one person from each couple is one of the schemers?" I asked totally confused.

"Harrison and Edward usually. Then you have the infamous time where we pulled a prank on Esme and Carlisle… This time…" Draco said.

"You PRANKED Carlisle and Esme to be on the show?" I yelled.

"It was great." Draco said.

"No it sucks now Edward is going to complain about how much he hates us. Not to mention he's still royally pissed about your last prank." Cedric said.

"What prank?" I asked this was getting interesting.

"They bugged Edward and Harrison's bedroom, bathroom, car and practically every thing and posted pictures of their most intimate moments all over the school as a cover up with the one going on with mom and dad." Cedric said and my eyes practically fell out of my skull.

"He did what?" I yelled.

"Cedric you helped though." Draco whined.

"Mom, Dad, Harrison and my twin don't know that." Cedric said with false innocence.

"Cedric remember when Jacob painted Edwards Volvo pink with rainbows and butterflies?" Draco said changing the subject.

"Then wouldn't touch it for three months until you guys painted it back to silver and forced Jacob to drive it while wearing a gay pride tee- shirt?" Cedric said laughing.

"Jennifer we are back!" Alice said yelling up the stairs.

"Here you go." Rosalie said handing me over the pizza then skipped out side to grab her bags.

"Eddie come on you aren't carrying that many bags." Harrison said then walked into the room now wearing a pair of white pants a blue and white button down long sleaves shirt a sweater vest in tan and the same tie as earlier. All finished off with a burgundy sweater over his shoulders creating a very country club like sense to him. "Do you like it? Its all part of the new Vintage prep line at Ralph Lauren."

"Very nice." I said just to view Edward walk in carrying about a hundred bags in each arm all of what must be Harrison's. "Hello Edward would you like some help." I asked since Harrison wouldn't very well offer.

"No thank you its not very heavy." Edward said and I raised one eye brow clearly explaining no was not the correct answer and took one from each side to keep him balanced.

"Oh my god what is in these?" I yelled since Edward was clearly lying since these two felt like a hundred pounds… each.

"Edward lets go." Harrison said skipping off to the elevator and opening the doors. Edward and I stepped in and Harrison pushed the third floor button.

"Jennifer would you like me to take those for you? You don't really need to carry those I was perfectly fine with them." Edward offered being a perfect gentleman. I could see how Edward's masculinity wasn't muted by the sole fact that he was attracted by the apposing sex. Harrison on the other hand was practically a shopaholic chick with a dick. Right after that thought I heard a low growl and Harrison was laughing. Right before jumping on Edward tangling his legs around Edward's waist his arms around his neck and kissed him chastely on the lips then whispered something in his ear.

I took time then to view what Edward was wearing. He was in a pair of dark blue jeans, a dark blue polo and a green baggy sweat shirt with the polo symbol. (On my wiki.)

When the doors on the elevator opened the song Choke Chain by **3oh!3**just ended. Followed by I'm not your Boyfriend Baby by the same artist. I followed them to their room and set the bags down next to where Edward had.

"Need you guys?" I asked and by guys I meant Edward. He did every thing any way.

"No Harry and Alice organize the closets I just chill out with Jasper for a while."

"Don't you have school in the morning? You two need showers and to get ready for bed its already after eight thirty. You wake up at five in the morning."

"Jennifer go eat dinner Emmett, Jasper and I need to give Rosalie, Alice and Hairbear some space so we will be playing the Wii. Unless videogames annoy you while you eat we could do some thing else like chess."

"WAR!!!!!" Jasper yelled wearing a black form fitting tight tee- shirt and baggy camouflaged pants weird hand fingerless gloves and war paint on. He was holding a nerf gun and started pelting Edward with perfect aim.

"You're on. What are the teams?" Edward asked while jogging to the elevator to change. I was watching fully interested on what will happen with my pizza box on my lap.

"Me and you verses Emmett and Cedric. Also known as Bronze Bears against the Blonde Lions." Jasper said picking up his bullets.

"Alright, why isn't Draco playing?" I asked.

"No matter whose side he starts on he always crosses sides. History always repeats its self in his case." Jasper looked up and said.

"Did I hear war?" Emmett and Cedric said popping out of the elevator fully clothed like Jasper was. The only difference was Cedric was wearing a black Tank top and tight pants; Emmett was wearing a black long sleeved shirt and shorts. Edward followed in a black tee- shirt similar to jaspers only it was polo and a pair of baggy camouflaged pants exactly like Jasper's.

"Yea do you have your weapons?" Jasper asked.

"Yep." Cedric and Emmett said at the same time.

"Good now lets go hide." Jasper and Edward said with a knowing look on their faces.

"Guys!!!" Alice and Rosalie said wearing their hair in bows and short camouflaged skirts and black tube tops with war paint. "Don't think you can play with out us." They said pulling out small nerf hand guns.

"I call Jazzy." Alice said.

"Emmey."

"So now its Jasper, Edward and Alice. Emmett Rosalie and Cedric?"

"No Rosalie and Alice are cheerleaders. The hand guns are used in the place of pompoms in case Harry and Draco start cheering as well." Edward said. "For soccer, football, or any thing else they use actual pompoms."

"I see." I said and went back to eating my pizza almost moaning in pleasure. "This pizza is orgasmic where did you get it?"

"Um… orgasmic did you seriously call a simple dominoes pizza orgasmic?" Alice laughed. I blushed and sunk into the chair.

"Do you guys want your nerf war playlist on?" Rosalie asked.

"Please Rosie." Emmett said and Holiday by **Green Day** started blaring threw out the house.

All the guys broke up running around in the house pelting each other with bullets. The girls were dancing to the music and eventually Harrison and Draco walked into the room wearing Black and white Polo sleep pants, gray slippers and tight gray tops. Each were wearing a Ralph Lauren robe with their name written on top of one side.

The song Viva la Vida just started by **Cold play**

Then 21 guns by **Green day **followed. The night was uneventful we went to bed after the third song the boys showered and went to bed.

**Esme's Point Of View:**

Having to part with Carlisle at the end of the day was the hardest thing I have ever done. However it was 7 and the limo would be here soon. I reluctantly collected the suit cases Rosalie and Alice packed for me. I almost glared at Draco, Jasper and Emmett for getting me into this. Cedric, Harrison, and Edward were mad enough and I felt horrible to have to leave my babies with this bound to be horrible woman. I just know she will be dreadful.

"Good bye Carlisle I love you so much. Boys when I get back you're grounded. Meaning no video games, fighting, gambling, messing with your siblings, watching movies, leaving the house other then hunting or school." I said just as the limo pulled away from the house.

This is going to be a long two weeks.

**~*~Six Hours Later~*~**

After the super long flight and drive I was finally at the house. It was a decent size I guess at least three bedrooms. "You have a half an hour to go threw and look threw the house." The camera man said and then told me we were starting to shoot.

"This is the house I'm staying in I hope the new mom doesn't get lost in mine." I said hoping my smile hid my disgust at this poorly manicured lawn. "Alright lets go." I said opening the door to come face to face with a day care area. "Am I at the right house? This looks like a toddlers play area?" then I hopped gracefully over the scattered toys and gross stuff laying around the house. I walked into the kitchen and saw how utterly tiny it was. "Where do they keep every thing? My kitchen is ten times the size and they eat in here." I said not caring about how grossed out I was. There was dirt and dust every where I can smell it. Can you say gross?

Living room was next and a decent size about half the size of mine. There was a small television that was out dated and small. A three person couch and an arm chair. The next room was the bathroom and super small with only the necessities, a toilette, a tub, and a sink. Every part of this house was filthy. Next I ventured into the master bedroom it housed a queen sized bed and a large dresser. Across the hall was a room in only pink. With a twin sized bed and shallow closet. Down the hall was a guest bedroom and I set my stuff down unpacking before going back out. With ten minutes gone threw and twenty to spare I found the laundry room and a three car garage with only a red 2003 Toyota Camry. Walking back into the kitchen where I saw the manual I sat down to read after commenting on the lack of cars, small enclosed house and the filth of it all.

"Dear new mom,

Hello I'm Jennifer Roderick and welcome to my lovely home. '**Yea lovely, my family would die in this house from lack of cleanliness. ** We are the proud parents of one child our seventeen year old daughter. She is highly supervised and isn't allowed to text, email, watch television, surf the internet, blog or any other thing that can disfigure ones morals. Allyssa is in an arranged marriage and you will meet Alexandre some day that you are there. Arranged marriages are all wrong. ** No choice in true love when that happens. Only two children used in a social status game.** We think homosexuality is against nature and if we come across it we frown heavily and make it clear about our distaste. **Oh no my poor baby boys.** I do all the cleaning and cooking as well as run my own day care center down stairs. My family is normal and we do not have any religious views. My daughter only reads books we have pre approved and is not allowed to date unless it is with Alexandre. **This poor child is deprived of everything. **I hope you enjoy your stay here and have a good two weeks.

-_Jennifer Roderick_."

I went back into the guest bedroom to unpack for the next ten or so minutes. When I heard a car pull up to the drive way I made my decent back to the front door. "Hello I am Aaron Roderick and this is my daughter Allyssa. You must be the new mom staying with us for wife swap?" a dark haired man with a short and muscular build said.

"Hello I am Esme Cullen nice to meet you." I said hopefully their mom is the only slob living in this house.

"Hi I am Allyssa. These are for you." Allyssa said and handed me a bouquet of flowers.

"So what do you all do in your free time?" I asked trying to break the awkward silence.

"Usually I'm still at work and Allyssa here does homework, studies, helps her mom at the daycare center, or she is out with her future husband Alexandre." Aaron said proudly.

"Allyssa doesn't that get boring to be so homework orientated." I asked not confused on why she studies but doesn't it get boring?

"I want to get into a good college." She said instantly.

"Your about seventeen correct Allyssa?" I asked sweetly.

"Exactly." She said.

"I have four kids your age and not one studies near as much as you claim to. Three are boys and two are extreme shopaholics. Two sets of seventeen year old twins can get hectic but trust me you don't need to study twenty four seven." I said sweetly and reassuringly.

"Really if they don't study how do they expect to do well or get into a college." Aaron asked disapprovingly.

"All four have a 4.5 grade point average and are on high honors."

"Are you serious? Do you have any other kids?"

"Yes I do. Four 18 year olds. I adopted them all each with a different story then the others." I said.

"What are their names?" Allyssa asked.

"The eight teen year olds names are Rosalie, Jasper, Draco, and Emmett, and the seventeen year olds names are Alice, Harrison, Edward and Cedric." I said proudly. "Harrison, and Alice are twins slightly younger then Edward and Cedric. Rosalie, Jasper, and Draco are half siblings with different mothers.(if I said fathers I'm so sorry but the pregnancies wouldn't work out for the 18 year mark.) and Emmett is the only one with out a blood relative in the house. We also have two more people we treat as if they were are children living in our guest house. Every Sunday Jacob and Isabella come over and spend time as a family." I said.

"That's very sweet of you. Taking all those children in I mean." Aaron said. The rest of the hour was boring and soon we went out to dinner at a place called the next door pub. Classic Italian restaurant and we ordered a pizza and salads.

The night quickly came to a close and I never met Alexandre yet. This family isn't what I expected. Their quiet, opinionated, and all slobs. I can not wait for this to be over so I can go home to my perfect family back in forks. Take them on a nice long vacation and show them how much I appreciate them.

With that we went to sleep or for me just sitting in my room wishing I was at home with my loving Carlisle.


	5. Day 2 in cullen residence

**Day Two of Swap at Cullen residence-**

**Jennifer's Point of View:**

It was Monday morning and I was up before five am. How they do this I have no Idea. "Good morning Jennifer I hope you have fun today just knock on the door and the kids will wake up. I will see you when I get home from work." Carlisle said while tying his tie making sure I was actually up. Putting on my robe I decided walking might wake me up more then sitting in the elevator. So I made my way up the first flight stopping first at Rosalie and Emmett's room.

"Guys wake up its time to get up for school." I said and waited for a reply. That never came so I tried again knocking harder for more noise and asking again. "Rosalie Emmett time for school."

"Don't wanna." I heard Emmett mumble.

"When I get back down here from waking up your brothers and sister I better here the shower running." I said then walked to Draco and Cedric's Room. "Boys wake up time for school." I said and this time I got a reply but not one I was happy with. The entire time hearing loud kissing noises, moans and growls. Then I heard the weirdest noise ever… purring. What teenaged boy purrs?

"Same goes for you two I want to hear a shower going in your room and see the other out of the room when I come back down." I said walking away from their room. I did get a what ever from Draco and some thing about house elves being less annoying. What ever the hell that means.

Walking up another set of stairs I tried Harrison and Edward first. "Harrison, Edward time for school wake up." I said sweetly while knocking.

"We will be right out Jennifer Hairbear do you want to shower first of do you want me to?" Edward asked and Harrison told Edward to saying something about picking out clothes.

I went over to Alice and Jasper's room next and before I even knocked Alice was opening the door wearing a bath robe holding up two outfits. "What should I wear Jennifer? Should I wear the yellow and gray one or the purple and silver? I am going crazy with out knowing." Alice said in a panicked voice.

"The Yellow and gray. Does Rosalie and Emmett always protest to wake up in the morning?" I asked.

"Oh Rosalie is going to be pissed if she doesn't wake up now. EDWARD GET THE BUCKET!!!" Alice yelled across the hall. "He's in the shower." I said looking panicked at this.

"Come with me then. Are Draco and Cedric up?" She asked with a knowing look on her face.

"They are but up to non productive morning activities." I said and Alice snickered. She brought me into the garage and climbed into Rosalie's car and honked the horn and took the other car off the lift and told me to follow her in a different car so we wouldn't get stuck. Then she took the other three cars to a similar area. By the time we got back we were face to face with a very pissed looking Rosalie and Emmett. One in a bra and underwear and the other in a pair of boxers standing out side.

"What the Fuck Alice you couldn't have waited?" Rosalie asked and Alice smiled.

"Emmett go get the bucket of ice water and pour it on Draco and Cedric." Alice said and Emmett smirked and ran off.

"You need to get ready." I said then went to start breakfast. Thirty minutes later Alice, Jasper and Edward came down stairs each in a very cute outfit.

Alice was wearing a yellow and gray skirt and shirt combination. Her yellow blouse was sleeveless and had a high neckline. It was very well hung and had a ruffle going down the center creating a very nice top. She had a cute paten leather belt accenting her hour glass figure and wore a cute light gray skirt with it. She had on black tights and gloves with a pair of knee high paten leather heeled boots with a look to make like they laced up the center. She had on a Chanel perfume and carried a yellow Kate spade clutch. Her hair was curled elegantly on the sides and she had in cute diamond ear rings.

Edward was wearing a plaid button down and a green Cashmere sweater. He had on white pants and was caring a plaid patchwork sports jacket that matched his undershirt. He also had on a yellow polka-doted tie. His hair was some what tamed and all and all he looked very preppy. (All from the vintage prep line at Ralph Lauren.) He was also wearing a pair of green trainers.

Jasper was wearing a blue and white striped button down and a dark blue tie with gold and Sliver RL's on it. He was wearing a white and dark blue hooded sweat shirt over it with dark blue slash marks and a Ralph Lauren Crest on it. He was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans along with some white trainers.

Rosalie came down next wearing a red version of Alice's shirt with a black blazer over it with white edges. She was also wearing a white shirt with four black buttons down the center in a square format. She had on black and white heels and white tights. She had a white hat on for an accessory along with a cute diamond bracelet and diamond earrings. She carried a red Kate Spade clutch much like Alice's. Her hair was curled to perfection and her make up looked perfect.

Draco came down next in a white button down and green tie of multiple shades in a striped format. He had on light wash jeans and white trainers. His hair was styled to perfection and he over all looked perfect. (Draco=Hot no matter what so HA.) His tie was tied loosely and just looked perfect.

And then there were three. Cedric, Harrison and Emmett. Who will be the next one down no one will know. Emmett came down fifteen minutes later wearing a black tight fitted tee shirt and a pair of light wash jeans. He was wearing black trainers and had a red v neck sweater for later.

"I'm going to go check on Harry he never takes this long." Edward said hitting the button for the elevator. Ten minutes later Edward and Harrison came back down. Harrison was wearing a white long sleeved button down with a pink cashmere v neck long sleeved sweater. He was wearing a dark blue tie that had green stripes and little red and gold crests.

Last but not least Cedric came down wearing a pair of dark jeans that faded towards the knee's I don't know if they are just well worn or he bought them that way. I hope it wasn't the later. Then he was wearing a black button down with the collar popped and a blood red v neck cashmere sweater. With that he was wearing a pair of blue plaid high tops with the Ralph Lauren logo on them.

Now it was a little after seven and they still haven't eaten breakfast. "Well your running late." I said sadly.

"Yeah well we will stop off at a drive threw on the way to school okay Jen?" Emmett said then ran off into the garage. "Same Teams?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah Alice, Jasper, Harry and I in my Vanquish. Cedric, Draco, Rosalie and you in the Prius… your so going to lose dude." Edward said before taking off leaving the beginning of the drive way. Or the end depending on how you look at it.

So now I'm left to do nothing for the day. I suppose I could clean but this house is spotless. I could go back to bed but I'm not tired. *Sigh* I guess I could go swim or work out. You know what that's exactly what I'm going to do. Then after my work out I'm going to look at her design stuff and see what kind of houses she designs.

~Three hours later~

Finally after running, lifting (Small weights) and trying every thing in the work out room then swimming several laps in the pool (Showering in between and after.) I am looking now for Esme's office. Almost like magic as if there was such a thing I find a glass door with silver letters labeled Esme's OFFICE. Opening the door I see several blue prints rolled up, I opened one and I was so surprised to see one of the most gorgeous houses I have ever laid eyes on. It was a log cabin style mansion three stories high with a stone first floor. There was also a stone stair case going up to the second story and a stone fireplace. There was a deck on the other side and just gorgeous home. No wonder their loaded both parents are highly talented in their job choice.

The next one was simply two stories and had a longer lay out. However it was no less gorgeous then the last. This one featured a large built in pool that looks like a pond and has a water fall on the far side. While the last ones house looked exquisite this ones landscape is what draws the eye. I looked at a few others each seemingly as well designed as the last before I noticed each had a state name on them. Well all except one that was labeled Isle Esme. Then I remembered they owned an island off the coast of Brazil. To be honest I thought they were kidding.

The kids got home two hours later after I vacuumed, washed down all surfaces, did the breakfast dishes, and picked up little things threw out the house.

"Hello Children, how was school to day?" I asked as they came in. Again a fight was going on. "Vanquish creamed the Prius." Edward yelled at Cedric. "Nun Uh My Prius whipped the Austin Martins ass." Cedric Yelled back.

"It was a tie." I said simply and they all looked at me as if I was on crack or something.

"No you see there is no such thing as a tie in this house." Rosalie said. "Especially when the twins are at war and are fighting about whose car won a race we have been having every day since we got our licenses'." She added.

"Exactly now if it were Ali-cat and I on our Ducati's I would totally kick her ass because the multistrada kicks ass compared to the street fighter." Jasper stated earning a glare and a smack on the arm from Alice. "Ouch baby I was just saying the truth." He said earning another smack. "Alice, you know its true." Yes and men never learn. Yet again she smacked him. "Ali stop I'm just stating what has been proven." Smack. "Stop smacking me." Smack. "Alice I didn't do any thing wrong." And smack.

"Dude just tell her she's right and she will stop." Edward said smirking.

"No I can't let her win. It's not my fault she never wins." Smack.

"Yes it is and you won't win. NO MORE SEX JASPER ALEXANDER WHITLOCK-CULLEN." Alice said.

"Go Alice." Rosalie, Draco and Edward said then gaining dirty glares from their own beloved ones.

"What did you just say Edward Anthony Mason-Cullen?" Harrison asked disapprovingly.

"Harry Alice is right on this one. Besides I can last a lot longer then you with out sex."

"Rosalie Lillian Hale-Cullen why are you siding with Alice? Your half brother is suffering and you are siding against him?" Emmett admonished.

"Alice is right with this one Emmett. If you fight me on this one you will be cut off two." Rosalie replied.

"Draco Severus Malfoy-Cullen what the fuck is wrong with you." Cedric said in a tone I have never heard from this boy before.

"Cedric what am I supposed to do, Jasper is wrong on this one." Draco said softly.

Oh no they can't be discussing this. Two sexually deprived adults is one thing but eight teenagers on top of that are going to kill me.

"Jasper say you're sorry and that Alice is right. Rosalie, Edward don't cut off your boyfriends because of a minor disagreement your siblings are having. Cedric don't swear." I said then walked up stairs.

When I came back down all I found was a note saying their home work was done, they were going shopping then to the movies and Carlisle and I were on our own for dinner more then likely.

So for dinner I made Pasta Alfrado with garlic breadsticks all to find out Carlisle ate at work. So I washed the dishes, put away the left over's and went to shower before bed. The kids got home after eleven giggling and I was happy to see all the couples were happy again. Knowing tomorrow would be a better day I went to sleep with out a problem.


	6. Day three Cullen Residence

Wife Swap Cullen's Vs. Roderick's:

Day three 2:45 am

Cullen Children's Point of View:

"We have to plan something and some thing good." Emmett said rubbing his jaw mischievously.

"What if we dress really weird then like tell her a bunch of stuff about people who went missing then floods our house with wanted posters?" Cedric said.

"Too creepy." Draco said.

"We can cut all the power cords in the house so she cant do any thing then remove all the engines from the cars so she cant leave. Then lock her in the bath room and scream bloody murder?"

"Have Jasper get red contacts and have him chew on a plastic arm?" Harrison said. This got glares from all near by.

"Get Jacob to phase and chase her around?" Jasper said.

"All dress up like traditional vampires fangs and all then fake bite each others necks pretending to drink each others blood in some kinky sex role play thing?" Edward offered. Every one glared at him this time.

"DUDE TMI I SO DON'T WANT A VISUAL ON WHAT HAPPENS IN LA CASA DE EDWARD Y DE HARRISON." Emmett yelled.

"We haven't actually done that!" Edward said.

"Yea and you think dad would find that remotely funny? Only you Harrison, Draco and Cedric would get a kick out of that." Rosalie said.

"Actually the look on her face would crack everyone up." Alice said.

"But if you haven't realized we don't have capes, fangs, fake blood or any of those things. Sure we have real blood but that would send us into a feeding frenzy." Jasper said.

"What ever we could always go shopping for it all." Alice said.

"Alright its decided, we are dressing up like vampires on day three and in the morning we will dress up like our ancestors aka the real live us. Edward do you have cloths from the 1900's still." Alice asked.

"Yea in my secret trunk in my room... what about Harry, Draco and Cedric they cant very well go dressed like wizards." Edward said.

"They will wear the muggle alternative... no that's to weird they can wear their robes, we are changing before school anyway. Plus they can say it was their ancestors school uniforms." Alice said.

"Great now what about Emmett?" Rosalie said

"The clothes we purchased for him directly after his change. However you need to wear one of those big poofy dresses you were always in as a human, hair up and all." Alice said.

"What my hair has been down as a reluctant change since my change. This prank better be worth it." Rosalie all but growled.

"Jazzy you get to wear your Confederate uniform...Lets go get ready! this is going to be so much fun." Alice said jumping on the walls... literally.

Day Three: 4:30 am

"Emmett get me my straightener." Rosalie said yelling from the closet while getting the prettiest dress she could from the 1930's.

"Its heating up on your bathroom counter babe." Emmett said handing her the perfect shoes for the lavender colored dress she was making a grab for. They were small heeled lavender shoes that in their time were perfect to wear to a ball now just a game of dress up. What a shame.

"Rosalie I called every kid in forks declaring to day as dress like an ancestor day. Every one said they would if we do." Alice said now with her hair in a towel and her bouncing around in a bright pink robe.

"Good I loved these shoes far to much to not wear them all day." Rosalie said. "Are the boys getting ready?"

"Yep. Edward is out of the shower and finding his old trunk. Good thing he was in chi-town or else he would be wearing the same ridiculous thing as the other three." Alice said giggling and laughed harder when three male voices cried out 'Hey I heard that.'

"Alice you know we love you but if you weren't in a mental institution you would be stuck in that as well. You do remember that you were in that same school as they were before being locked up over the summer." Rosalie said.

"The girls wore cuter outfits Rosalie plus I could totally work the school robes unlike them. Cedric even wore the sweater vest that was completely optional. But we Hufflepuffs have to stick together." Alice said giggling again.

"Of course so when will she wake us up?" Rosalie said now in her deep purple robe.

"Twenty minutes so you have time for a shower and then start straitening your hair." Alice said.

"Alright Alice thank you." Rosalie said then ran to shower.

Alice then walked to her own bathroom and showered stepping out five minutes before Jennifer knocked on her door and Jasper going in to the shower. Her dress was a yellow and black polka-dotted knee length dress.

Before we knew it Jennifer was knocking on the door telling us it was time to get ready for school. Each of us politely told her we were getting ready and left it at that. In the end Edward was wearing a fitted tan suit with a matching hat and black leather pointy toed shoes. Jasper was wearing his blue confederate army uniform that even had his name on it only stating Jasper Whitlock instead of Hale. Cedric, Harry and Draco were all wearing their Hogwarts's uniforms all looking remarkably the same yet the slight difference in tie color, under clothing and the symbol on their uniforms were all drastically different. Emmett was dressed similar to Edward but with a black suit and no hat. Rosalie was in a floral violet and lavender floor length dress that kept modesty to a maximum level to Emmett's displeasure. Alice was in her knee length yellow and black dress and all together you would think you were watching a tv show going back in time from the late1800's to the late 1960's quite a spread in the time's but every single one of them pulled it off fabulously.

Walking down for breakfast Rosalie was the first to make an appearance. "Oh dear god what are you wearing?" Jennifer said in a shock.

"My great great grand-Aunts dress from the depression. The Hale's were better off and she was engaged to one of New York's wealthiest bachelors before she went missing one day shortly before the wedding. Royce her fiancee went missing shortly after but found dead in his fathers office with his neck snapped. His four best friends were killed in a similar fashion, some say Rosalie's ghost was haunting them because many think she was raped before killed. I was named after her because I apparently looked a lot like her." Rosalie said.

"Um wow how do you know all this?" Jennifer asked.

"Family heirlooms, mostly but my parents said besides my eye color I'm like an exact replica of her. Attitude and all. Apparently she was really vain and cared a ton about looks, all she wanted was the finer things in life. Maybe an heir or two but aside from that she just wanted to be admired. For as much as I enjoy all those things I just want a family that loves me a good career and help others." Rosalie said and Emmett came down kissing her cheek before wrapping his arm around her.

"Emmett may I ask what in the name of god you are wearing?" Jennifer asked looking even more clueless then she did with Rosalie.

"Its one of my ancestors outfits my great grandmothers brother Emmett went hunting one day and was killed by a bear, I as well was named after him because I was the first male born after him. Shortly after the depression my family was still suffering the after shock, he was their sole provider hunting for all their food since he was the only adult male in the family. He lived in a full house of five women, and three males. Apart from him the two others were five and three so he had to provide for his four sisters his mother and his little brothers. He didn't have time to spare for a job survival was his only option. Shortly after his death the government took control over the situation giving them aid until they could get back onto their own two feet. My great grandmother found love in a rich man who helped out his mother got her job back and his two younger brothers had a better life then he could have ever." Emmett said and Jennifer was holding back tears. "Like I said I was the first male born after his death and I had the same black colored hair that he did, when I was found in the woods after the abuse it was because my father was mentally unstable and thought I was being possessed by the devil. Life sucks but you have to get over it and move on."

"Oh I'm so sorry, that must have been horrible, where are the others?" Jennifer asked considering these two were usually the last down.

"I'm right behind you Jennifer, Cedric is two. Now before you ask I'm dressed like my great great great grand uncle Edward yes I was named after him he died from the Spanish influenza back in 1918." Edward said short and sweet.

"Our great grand uncle Cedric who I was named after died in a school competition during his senior year at his private boarding school in Scotland, it was during the final part of the competition when he was killed by a serial killer that had the entire country in fear to even say his actual name, Harry's great grand uncle was also in that event only three years younger in his freshman year who brought his dead body back for his family to bury. He eventually died but not before killing the man who killed my uncle." Cedric said leaving Jennifer in shock and to process both of their stories.

"My Great Grand uncle was also a freshman in that very school and was killed by the serial killer for refusing to kill our head master. In the end the headmaster was killed but by his god father instead." Draco said.

"Like Cedric said my great grand father killed the very man who killed both of their grand uncles in his twenties have two children before hand. He was killed before either of his children had a chance to get to know him and one never even saw his fathers face." Harry said. "We all were surprisingly named after a person who died in our family."

"My great Grand Aunt Mary Alice was in a mental institution in between her junior and senior years in high school. She was then found dead by a guard but no one knows how she died or why. Some say it was the doctors some said it was a natural cause but no one knows for sure." Alice said.

"My great great great grand uncle Major Jasper Whitlock was going to check to see if all women and children were evacuated from the city of Galveston before a battle during the civil war broke out during that couple day truce Major Jasper Whitlock went missing never to be seen again. At only age 19 he was not only a solider but at the highest ranking he could before dying. At age 17 he entered the war as a trick of the system to protect his family. It has been said that his charisma and his empathy was what got him to move up in ranks so quickly. He easily influenced others to go his way making him a strong and valuable leader. Many think he was held hostage then beaten to death from the north trying to get information from him. His horse was the only thing found of his caring his extra clothing and his gun leaving him helpless where ever he was." Jasper said adding a new sensation to the sea of emotions going on around him. "its funny you know how most people can live their entire lives not knowing anything about their family heritage and we know in depth others may not know about the people we were named after. I mean how many people can recite their family deaths that many generations ago in such depth and compassion as if it was them living threw it. Impossible I know but it is exactly that, that makes us who we are. We were raised to know all this and even being adopted we know this much family history when most don't even know how their first ancestor died with out having to do intensive research on that person."

With that the Cullen children walked to their cars in peace leaving a very confused Jennifer in the wake to process what knowledge she learned about the kids she was living with.

Day two Jennifer's point of view (Shortly after the kids leave.)

The day was spent in a speed up version of yesterday. I cleaned I cooked and I exercised. The kids started a dress like your ancestor day and practically every one in forks was dressed like a dead person in out dated fashions. Each kid had a story to go along with their out fits and at the end of the day a pool party took place creating the usually bare house to be filled with children.

By ten I was more then tired and ran up to my room to fall into a deep slumber little did I know more would be happening tomorrow if I thought today was hectic tomorrow will be even worse.

**A/N I know I took a ton of time to get this chapter up. However I know what my next chapter will be like, and hopefully it will be up asap. I have been working on several different ones and got into a huge reading spurge. The fact that my computer practically broke and had a virus did not help the process of things. Thank you every one who has sent reviews I'm very glad you enjoyed this so far. I will try to update more often but in till June fourth school comes before fan fiction. So sad I know Read And Review please! reviews make people smile even on the rainiest of all days!**


	7. authors note

Author's Note: My entire computer was wiped out and I lost all documents I hope I can get them all back some how but all were missing on my flash drive and my old computer user files were deleted because my internet fucked its self up. I'm re writing them now so they should be up soon. I'm so sorry about all drama that's happened in relation so stalling the updates on my stories. In other words though I am out of school for the summer now and I can hopefully update more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Emmettsgirlyeayourjealous~~~~~~


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